A Is For Alyssa - Issue 7

WARNING: Only those who have read the first seven chapters of Total Drama Alpharama can proceed!

- A -

- B -

- C -

- D -

- E -

- F -

- G -

- H -

- I -

- J -

- K -

- L -

- M -

- N -

- O -

- P -

- Q -

- R -

- S -

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

- X -

- Y -

- Z -

- A IS FOR ALYSSA -

You've probably played miniature golf as a child, right?  Okay, I know some of you out there are telling me you didn't, but I'm gonna assume you did anyway.  In any case, you may not have played it with these teens!  (And you probably not might want to, since they could beat you now.  Or not.)

This golf course ended up being the undoing of Velandra Martinez, who will be joining us today.  She will, of course, tell you exactly how she feels, like about the latest twist that put an end to Team Omega and brought three teams down to two!

This is how Velandra got to this point.  Keep your eye on the ball...

- G IS FOR GIRL GOT GAME! -

An avid Total Drama watcher, Velandra came to prove that despite her couch-potato appearance, she was not going to just sit around on the couch and shout angrily at contestants who made dumb moves... she was going to let people KNOW whether the moves they made were dumb or not!  This Latina was definitely spicy!  She let people know about Skyler's sexist strategy, and we can all tell how she felt about Elvio!

- G IS FOR GIRL GOT GAB! -

Because of this, she may be knowing a bit too much about some of the contestants left in the game.  She knew that Connor was the only contestant in the cast who had a million dollars prior to the filming of this season, and she also figured out that Francesca and Ross still haven't admitted to liking each other yet, and that Ireland and Kieran knew each other before!

She was armed with a lot of knowledge.  Plenty of ammo that she would soon unleash.  Question is, when would she unleash it, and would the world be ready?

- G IS FOR GOLF GOOF-UP! -

The challenge for this episode was the mini-golf challenge, where the teens had to sink their shots in as few strokes as possible!  Payson and Velandra were the two biggest offenders for Team Omega, obviously, with Velandra taking eight strokes after an encounter with a fierce giraffe, and Payson going overboard with twenty!  It is no surprise that those two ended up being the targets!

- G IS FOR GOING OUT WITH A BANG! -

The voting ended up being as close as you can get.  Payson, Ireland and Kieran have successfully convinced Luna to flip and blindside Velandra in a 4-3 vote!

But Velandra would not go down quietly.  She revealed just about every secret that a remaining contestant had.  Good thing she didn't reveal the secret combination to my diary (Velandra assured me that would be one of the secrets she would keep, besides, she told me she doesn't know).

Total Drama Alpharama would never be the same again after that Bonfire Ceremony.  Her six former teammates found themselves on other teams, plus EVERYONE now knows the contestants' secrets!  The booting order could no doubt be affected!  Oh well, so much for MY early predictions... AGAIN...

- AFTER ALPHARAMA 6: VELANDRA'S VISIT! -

Team Omega is gone, but its survivors live on.  Does Velandra even miss Team Omega at all?  Well, she probably doesn't, but at least she's brought plenty of her famous sass for this interview!

ALYSSA: Welcome to A Is For Alyssa, Velandra!  It's nice to have you here!

VELANDRA: Same here, chica.  I get the feeling that this season is gonna be crazier and crazier... these loco twists were goin' to be the death of me!

ALYSSA: How does it feel to be voted off?

VELANDRA: I ain't gonna lie to you, dulce... when most people say they don't like bein' voted off, you gotta listen to them, because they're tellin' the truth.  And of course... I didn't like bein' voted off.  So how did you THINK I feel?  Payson did worse than me in the challenge, he should be goin' home... I'm surprised my teammates would keep him around.  I don't know, maybe they missed his rappin' or somethin'... because I definitely didn't!

ALYSSA: That golf challenge was tough on you, wasn't it?

VELANDRA: Geraldine, that giraffe, had it out for Velandra.  You could just see the look in her eyes.  Lots of crazy animals, the giraffe, the elephants, the alligators... it's like Chris went to a zoo, released a lot of animals from their cages, and forgot to give them back.  That giraffe had a good reason to be angry.  But why it was angry at ME, I got no idea.  I didn't release it from its cage!

ALYSSA: I assume you've sized up the two remaining teams... who do you think is the better of these new teams, Team Alpha or Team Beta?

VELANDRA: Well, I can honestly tell you... I have no idea whatsoever, okay?  Though I have to say... I think Team Beta for now.  Yeah.  My old team, can you believe that?  I don't think there are as many dishonest or untrustworthy people on that team than there are on Team Alpha.  The green team has York, that venomous Heather wannabe, Payson, the person who SHOULD have been voted off, Hektor, who could be his partner in crime, Mr. Rich Boy Connor, and Gareth, who is probably WORSE in challenges than Payson.  All Team Beta has is Blaineley's brother and the Bridgeoff wannabes... everyone else on that team is okay in my book.

ALYSSA: From either team, who do you think will be voted off next?

VELANDRA: From Team Alpha... hopefully York and Connor in either order!  I hope those other people on the green team see how threatening they are going to be if they stay longer!  On the red team?  I would have to say Ireland or Kieran, because they are leavin' their relationship farther out in the open than they say they are... they ain't hidin' it.  They gotta be split up sometime.

ALYSSA: Did you fall in love with anyone while you were in the game?

VELANDRA: Well, I know I didn't fall in love with Skyler and his "bros", so you can eliminate those people right away!  To be honest... I don't know any of the hombres were right for me... closest was Quillon from Team Beta, but I could tell he was taken.  Odessa was like droolin' over him.  I was like, "Okay, you can have him, I'll go find someone else."  And let me tell you, that is NOT going to be Elvio, so I'm sparin' you from havin' to ask that.

ALYSSA: Xev told me that she kept Cinnamon the cougar from Episode 3 as a pet... are you going to do the same thing with Geraldine the giraffe?

VELANDRA: Yes.  I am goin' to let a giraffe live in my house and eat everything and do damage to my house.  Of course I am not going to keep her!!!  But you know what... Xev kept a cougar, maybe she could keep the giraffe, I don't care.  But then, I visited Xev the other day, her cougar was very friendly, it licked my hand, and it tickled a bit... I laughed when it tickled me.  And I don't usually laugh when wild zoo animals lick my hand!

ALYSSA: Those edgics on the Internet seemed to think you were going to make it to the end of the game... we all know how wrong they were!

VELANDRA: Yeah, one thing about the Total Drama series is that you can always expect the unexpected!  And with so many twists, ANYONE could win.  Anyone could also lose, too, as you just saw.  For all I know, Sasquatchanakwa could become a contestant at some point around the middle of the series and actually outlast all twenty of the contestants left in the game!  Not that it will actually happen, but knowin' Chris, it probably will anyway!

ALYSSA: One final question... what's with the red hair?

VELANDRA: One more secret... I knew Xev before we even began the game, and she suggested that I wear that hair color to bring out my fiery personality, and if the two of us made it to the end together, we would win TWO million instead of one million!  ...And you didn't believe a word of that, did you?  I didn't even know Xev, I thought the X contestant was going to be a Xavier or a Xaviera or a Xerxes... I didn't even know anyone else early on, other than perhaps Blaine, but I didn't tell no one that because I knew he was going to slip up and reveal his secret himself!  He did my work for me!  As for my red hair, it isn't my natural hair color, I used hair dye, like a lot of the girls did.  And yes, it brought out my fiery personality very well, thank you very much.

ALYSSA: Thank you for your time, Velandra.

VELANDRA: Anytime!  Well, off to the Playa de Losers... Skyler and Elvio must be so happy to see me, but I'ma disappoint them by, of course, bringin' it.  They may have been on the same team as me, but trust me, they haven't even seen this señorita!

- Q & A -

These G-named guests from Total Drama dropped by to give us some gab!  Gwen, being on three seasons, obviously got her game on, while Geoff?  Well, he DID get a girlfriend, and that's good enough.

Today's letter: G
Guests: Geoff (Island, Action), Gwen (Island, Action, World Tour)

ALYSSA: Welcome to A Is For Alyssa!  It's nice to have you two here!

GEOFF: Totally bodacious to be here, babe!

GWEN: I'm enjoying this interview... it's nice that there are three sane people here, compared to some of the ones before!

ALYSSA: What was your reaction when Velandra was voted off?

GWEN: Yeah, that was unexpected.  Particularly when her team WASN'T full of people like Heather like the other two were!

GEOFF: Yeah, don't remind me of that.  I like fell out of my seat when Velandra spilled everything after that... now I know why the call the name of the show "Total DRAMA"!

ALYSSA: What have you been up to since the last season ended?

GEOFF: Bridge and I?  We're still together, thanks for asking!

GWEN: And Duncan and I?  Yep, same here.  And as for the threatening packages Courtney keeps sending to us in the mail... well, I noticed that despite the time it took for her to carefully craft such an elaborate scheme to break the two of us up, she left her return address on them, and... well, you can put two and two together.

GEOFF: The look on her face?  Priceless!  But at least she's smart enough to leave Bridge and I alone!

GWEN: Yeah, Courtney has a one-track mind, doesn't she?

GEOFF: Hear, hear!

ALYSSA: Who do you think will be voted off next?

GEOFF: York, obviously!

GWEN: I think it'll be her to, because these people aren't going to let someone as bad as Heather or Scott make it far into the game... but then again, I could be wrong, though.

ALYSSA: Thank you for your time!

GEOFF: No prob, brah!

GWEN: Always a pleasure!

- AFTERWORD -

This wraps up yet another issue of A Is For Alyssa.  I'm going to go celebrate by playing miniature golf myself!  (And no, I wasn't going to play on Chris' course... even if I *did* help design it.)

Next time: The H issue!  Harold and Heather hang out, and the seventh contestant voted off!  Hope to see you there!

-Alyssa